Why Fathers Must Advocate for Presumptive 50/50 Custody with FathersFirst Memphis

In family law, the debate over child custody arrangements has long been a contentious issue. Historically, courts have leaned toward awarding primary custody to mothers, often relegating fathers to secondary roles in their children’s lives. However, we are creating a growing movement, supported by groups like FathersFirst Memphis, who are pushing for presumptive 50/50 custody where both parents are assumed to share equal parenting time and responsibility unless evidence suggests otherwise. Fathers, in particular, have a critical role in advocating for this shift, not just for their own rights but for the well-being of their children and society as a whole. My story as a school administrator in Memphis, illustrates the urgency of this cause. Here’s why this matters and how me and  FathersFirst Memphis is leading the charge.

1. Children Thrive with Both Parents Involved

Research consistently shows that children benefit from meaningful relationships with both parents after a separation or divorce. A study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that children in shared parenting arrangements exhibit better emotional, behavioral, and academic outcomes compared to those in sole custody situations. When we (fathers) are sidelined, kids lose half of the emotional support, guidance, and role modeling they need to flourish. As a dedicated school administrator, I sought 50/50 custody to remain a steady presence in my children’s lives, knowing firsthand the value of involved parenting. Despite my qualifications and commitment, I was denied equal time, highlighting how the system can fail even the most capable fathers. The organization I co-founded FathersFirst Memphis champions this cause by educating families about the data, ensuring kids in Tennessee and beyond aren’t unnecessarily deprived of their fathers’ presence, which is just as vital as a mother’s.

 2. It Challenges Outdated Gender Stereotypes

The traditional bias toward mothers in custody decisions stems from outdated assumptions: mothers are natural caregivers, while fathers are providers or peripheral figures. These stereotypes don’t reflect modern realities, where fathers like myself are increasingly hands-on parents—changing diapers, attending school events, and nurturing their kids emotionally. As a school administrator, I spent my career supporting children’s growth, yet the court overlooked my parenting capacity in favor of traditional norms. FathersFirst Memphis is at the forefront of challenging these biases, advocating for a cultural shift that recognizes parenting as a gender-neutral responsibility. This isn’t just about fairness for dads; it’s about dismantling a system that limits how society views both men and women.

3. Fathers’ Rights Are Human Rights

When custody defaults to one parent—usually the mother—fathers are often left fighting an uphill battle to prove their worth. This isn’t just a legal inconvenience; it’s a violation of a fundamental human right to maintain a bond with one’s child. My case is a stark example: despite my stable career and dedication, I couldn’t secure 50/50 custody. I was forced to justify my role rather than being presumed an equal parent. FathersFirst Memphis supports fathers in reclaiming this dignity, pushing for presumptive 50/50 custody as a starting point of equality—requiring a compelling reason to deviate rather than forcing fathers to prove their inclusion. Our work ensures the legal system respects fathers as equal partners in parenting.

 4. It Reduces Conflict and Litigation

Unequal custody arrangements often fuel prolonged legal battles, draining families emotionally and financially. When the default is 50/50, the starting point is neutral, reducing the incentive for one parent to “win” at the other’s expense. Studies, like those cited by the American Psychological Association, suggest that shared custody arrangements correlate with lower levels of parental conflict over time. My fight for equal time escalated tensions that could have been avoided with a fairer presumption. FathersFirst Memphis promotes this framework, helping fathers advocate for a system that benefits everyone involved—ex-partners, children, and themselves—through less adversarial solutions.

5. The Current System Harms Men’s Mental Health

Being relegated to “weekend dad” status takes a toll. Studies from the National Institutes of Health link reduced parental involvement post-divorce with higher rates of depression and anxiety among fathers. For me, being denied 50/50 custody despite my qualifications as a school administrator compounded the emotional strain of separation, diminishing my ability to fully engage with my kids. FathersFirst Memphis understands this struggle and offers support, resources, and advocacy to improve fathers’ mental well-being. By fighting for presumptive 50/50 custody, they’re ensuring fathers stay healthy and present for their children.

6. It Sets a Precedent for Future Generations

Every father who fights for equal custody today, with the backing of FathersFirst Memphis, is laying the groundwork for a more equitable tomorrow. As more states—like Kentucky—and  West Virginia adopt shared parenting laws, the momentum builds. My struggle underscores the need for change; my role as a school administrator should have bolstered his case, yet it wasn’t enough under the current system. FathersFirst Memphis empowers dads to speak out, whether through legal challenges, public discourse, or community activism, showing their sons and daughters that parenting isn’t a privilege to be granted—it’s a right to be exercised. This shift will normalize dual-parent involvement for generations to come.

The Call to Action with FathersFirst Memphis

Fathers must advocate for presumptive 50/50 custody because the stakes are too high to stay silent, and FathersFirst Memphis is here to help. My experience—denied equal time despite my exemplary background as a school administrator—shows how even the most qualified fathers can be sidelined. This isn’t about diminishing mothers’ roles but about elevating the principle that kids deserve both parents unless there’s a clear reason otherwise. It’s about fairness, child welfare, and breaking free from a system that’s lags behind societal progress. Whether through contacting lawmakers, sharing stories, or joining FathersFirst Memphis in their mission, fathers have the power—and the duty—to drive this change. Connect with FathersFirst Memphis to get involved, access resources, or attend local events pushing for equal parenting rights. The time for half-measures is over; equal parenting should be the default, not the exception.

Contact FathersFirst Memphis:

www.fathersfirstmemphis.con

901-316-7772

FathersFirst901@gmail.com